Positivity

Lately I have been feeling a little down, and over whelmed. As you can see, from my previous posts that we have been experiencing a lot with our little Arland. It has now been a month since we started this journey with him. When he started having seizures a month ago I didn't know what to feel. I was mostly scared but I acted on adrenaline. As we brought him home from primaries Heath and I started to feel a little bit of normalcy coming back and then two weeks later Arland had another seizure. Since then  He has had more, but not consistent. His medication seems to be working, and his behavior is getting back to himself. The first couple weeks were HARD. He had so many angry tantrums or he would be extremely hyper... Never a middle ground. But as time goes on I can't help but be thankful that he is starting to be himself again. 

Last Sunday I was asked to give a talk In Sacrament meeting. (Great timing right). They asked me to speak on "choice and accountability." As I thought about my talk, I started think about choices. I felt as though a lot of the choices I have had in my life were never really mine to make. Many of my "choices" have been made and decided on by doctors, nurses, and even my children. So I felt like all of my choices this past year with Porter being born and now Arland and his epilepsy, were all choices that were never mine to make. So the question was "have you ever had choices that had so much to do with your life, but you had no control on what to do with them, they were never your choice to make?" 

The answer I found was simple. We always have a choice. Faith. 

We have the choice to pray for comfort. In my case I found that I have a choice to pray for guidance in understanding what my childrens doctors are telling me. And what I need to do for them. I have the choice to have faith that what Heavenly Father is telling me will be the best way. The answer is faith. 

Arland

As much as it hurts thinking about what happend to Arland that day, I have to write down these events. Arland, Porter Zoe and I went to the Lehi parade on the 28th of June. We had breakfast and found a spot along the very crowded street where we could all sit (grandma and grandpa neubert, and daddy). After the parade was over Heath went to help his dad load all of the stoves from the breakfast back into the truck. Arland wanted to stay with Heath. I let him. 

Zoe, Porter and I walked back to the car and drove away when we got a call from grandpa Pulham. He said that Arland had fallen on some landscaping rocks and hit his head. I raced my car back to the park where an ambulance and fire truck took him to primary childrens. 

They ran a catscan and X-ray. Everything was fine. We went home, and arland was said to have an "impact seizure." 

Exactly one week later, we went on vacation with my family to park city. We were going to go to the parade, it was too crowded so we opted out. We went back to the townhouse while everyone went their separate ways and daddy went to get us some dinner. I was sitting on the floor feeding Porter and Arland was standing next to me. I heard a thud and I looked over and Arland was laying on the floor. He rolled to his right side and started to seize. Foam was coming out of his mouth and his lips turned purple. This was my little arland. I panicked and ran to call 911... My phone was dead. I ran out on the back patio an started screaming for help. A little lady sitting on his back porch reading heard me and ran to get her husband. He called 911. Just as Arlands seizure was ending Heath came in the door. An ambulance came and the paramedics asked a lot of questions. They told me to get in the ambulance with Arland and keep him calm. We were taken to primary childrens where they asked a lot of questions and did a catscan. No brain tumor. We were so relieved, and yet so confused. They sent us home telling us that if he had another one longer then 5 minutes bring him in. So we were sent out to the dark again. 

That night grandpa neubert stayed up till 5 am watching Arland. Heath got up after that to watch him. At 6:30 Arland had another seizure. He woke up and went to talk to Heath when he went into another one. It was only a minute long so we decided we would wait it out and see if he had another one. That whole day he would stand and start to go into another one, so we couldn't let him walk anywhere. He was extremely agitated and then hyper happy. He was showing some clear behavior changes and in my gut it didn't feel right. I told my mom that I was having a panic attack and couldn't call the hospital so she called primary's and talked to them about his "signs." The nurse told us to come in. My dad and Heath were on a drive with arland at the time so I told them to go straight to primary's. My mom and I met them there. The nurse practitioner came in and took some information when she told us to let him walk around. They did, and when they returned arland went into another seizure. She was able to witness the entire thing and therefore admit us to the neuro-trauma unit and primary childrens. They started Arland on Keppra (an anti seizure medication) in hopes that it would stop the seizures. They ran an EEG test the next day, which came back clear, and an MRI which he had to be sedated for. 

He wasn't able to eat or drink anything that entire day. The MRI was scheduled for 1 pm but we didn't get it until 5 pm. He was angry and starving, as were we his parents. He kept asking for a chicolate chip cookie "MOM! You go get me a cookie OK!!!" So I would go out in the hall sit on a chair and cry, he wasn't allowed to have a cookie. Finally they sedated him. I held him in my arms and they put it in his IV. It was aweful. I hope to NEVER see my child that way... Ever. The MRI took about an hour so Heath and I finally were able to take a break and eat. Just as we finished we heard "will the parents of Arland Pulham please call the operator." We panicked, running out of the cafeteria. We ran up to his room where they told us that he finished his MRI and they wanted us there when he woke up. 

(Eating his chocolate chip cookie after the MRI) 

The neurologist dr. Sweeney came in and told us that all his tests, including MRI looked good and it looked like he was responding to his medication well. We could go home the next day :) 

Heath stayed home with Porter that night and I showered and headed back up to primary's where my dad was sitting with him. My dad stayed the whole night. He played cars, watched movies, and got Arland snacks. Arland loves his grandpa. My dad and I talked about how we needed to get Arland up and moving before we left the hospital. That way we would know if his medication was really working. We walked everywhere with him! And NO SEIZURE! 

We then packed up our stuff and headed home. We will be meeting with the neurologist frequently, but I am just so grateful we were admitted when we were there. There were some serious guardian angels looking out for my Arland that day. I believe everyone is inspired to make decisions in their lives. It may not be a bolt of lighting (it rarely is) that tells you what to do or what to believe in. I believe that our Heavenly Father guides us to people he knows will influence the choices we make in our lives. I don't know the purpose of this trial in our life yet, and I don't know why it had to be arland. But I do know that there are specific people that were placed in our life those days. Arland had angels physically and spiritually present with him all the time. Thank you to everyone who prayed for my little arland, we have seen miracles because of it.