Birth Story of:

 

 

I have since realized that after being released from the hospital that I have absolutley no time to do anything any more. I have gone from a sluggish physically and emotionally exhausted person to a crazy person trying to do everything and be everywhere all at once. That is what happends when you have a two year old at home who hasnt lived with you for the past two months and a little baby in the NICU.

The day that Porter was born is a day that will forever be engraved in my memmory. It started mostly on Sunday, I had started to feel incredibly tired and so emotional (not that pregnant ladies are already emotional this was a million times worse!) I thought of it as just being tired of being at the hospital. I told Heath that I was just so tired of everything. I was tired of being in that hospital room with one window that I rarely got to look out of because I had to stay in bed, I was SO tired of the food. I was getting mean to some of the nurses, I was just TIRED! I couldnt tell if the ache in my back was just from sitting in bed for so long, I could barely get the strength in my legs to stand in the shower any more and every time I stood up my hip would lock out of place. I literally felt like I was falling apart. My inlaws came over that Sunday, and I was just miserable. My sister in law told me that I looked like I wasnt feeling well and boy was she right! That night I cried to Heath about how I didnt know if I could be in that room much longer, I knew that I had to but the thought was unbarable. I eventually fell asleep and that next morning at 5am I woke up in labor. I started bleeding and the doctors were afrain that I could start hemoraging so they rushed Heath and I to Labor and Delivery. The previous post "Tired" explains what happend there. They hooked me up to an IV and started giving me steroids and magnesium to ease my labor. I went from having contractions every minute to every 15 minutes. The steroids were given to help the baby with his lungs at birth and the magnesium was for the babies brain to prevent brain bleads. I absolutley HATE that magnesium. The drug makes to feel like you are swimming through mud, HOT mud. I was so groggy and dilirious, feeling like I was a thousand degrees. I remember being wheeled into that room and not feeling the panic that I felt the first time we were in that room. The first time they wheeled us into the room with the window to the NICU I felt scared, helpless, unsure because we didnt know if our little 23 week baby would choose to come that night. This felt different, Heath and I talked about how calm we felt (scared but calm) we knew that if he came tonight he would be strong, he would be comforted and he would be able to fight for this life alot harder then his little body would have at 23 weeks. 

Heath called our families telling them that we had been taken to Labor and Delivery, they came as soon as possible staying with us in that little room until things stabalized with my contractions. They monitored me for infection signs are (fever, nausea, tender stomache, bleeding, blood test showing high blood count).

Eventually our families left and they wheeled Heath and I to our room where we would hopefully be able to keep this baby in a little bit longer.

 

On Wednesday I woke up with the worst indigestion that I have ever had (I had not had this problem my whole pregnancy). I was really dehydrated and every time I drake water I felt like it was stuck right at my throught and wouldnt go down. My nurse pumped me with every anti nausea indigestion medication you can think of. It would not stop. I had a horrible pain in my back again and anyway that I laid in my bed I could not get comfortable. My good friend Shelby came to visit me and my mom that day and she brought me my favorite pregnancy food, a cheap crunchy taco from taco bell. haha weird cravings! I was still so sick though. I kept telling them that I was feeling really strange that day, I was so thirsty but couldnt drink anything and I was so uncomfortable. My doctor then came in and listned to the babies heart beat. It was unusually high 160-170. His base line is usually 140, she then told me that she wanted to feel my stomache and I flinched right as she touched me. My body was hurting. My nurse took out my IV and had two nurses from life flight replace it. (I am a hard stick) They usually are some of the best people to put an IV because they can do it in the most random places in the air. They got it in on the 4th try and went on their way. I asked my nurse before if she could just wait to put an IV in because I hated them so bad. She told me that she had a feeling that I needed a fresh IV in for that day. They did some blood work after that and then Dr. Weber came to my room. She is my high risk OB and told me that she wanted me to go back to labor and deliver for some monitoring. My grandma and aunts had come to visit at this point and were able to see me for a small period of time. Shelby walked with me down to Labor and Delivery and called Heath to tell him what was going on. My mom picked up all of my personal belongings and came down later. They hooked up my IV and started me on fluids. I thought my contractions were around 15 minutes apart, it seems as though I was wrong though, they were 3 minutes apart, I just couldnt tell because they were leaving a constant pain in my back. My back hurt the worst. My team of doctors came in to talk to me about what was going on. Shelby called Heath and put him on speaker phone. They told me that I was in labor and they couldnt do anything to stop it because I had a  infection called corio, coria (not sure how to spell it). They babies heart rate was up and they needed the baby to come that day. Dr. Kamyar (she is my main high risk OB and I LOVED her!) told me that at 29 weeks and 5 days Porter would be born. He would have a high risk of undeveloped lungs and because of my low fluid he may have problems moving around his little arms and legs because he was inside of such a tight space for such a long time. But with all of the things that could be wrong we felt that he had a higher chance of things going right if we could get him out of my body which had an infection at this point. I started to fever and then Dr. Kamyar sent in the anesthesiologist to give me my epidural. It was WONDERFUL! I was finally able to relax for a while and let my body prepare to have this baby.

Our families arrived at the hospital and we were able to relax much more this time then two months earlier. There was a peace in the room that I will never forget. I know for a fact that Porter was supposed to come at that time because of the peace and comfort we felt in that room that day. We were definitley being watched over and comforted that day. After two hours on the Pitocen I was dialted to a 3! We had made great progress, 5 hours passed though and Dr. Kamyar came into tell me that I was still at a 3. She told me that she wanted to do a c-section. My heart rate was too high and the babies heart rate was dropping too low. She told me that we needed to get him out and I had NO problem with that. They wheeled me into the surgical room and prepped me for surgery. I drank this anti nausia medicine that made me feel like I had just drank 40 gallons of grape juice, it was aweful! I was shaking really bad as they strapped my arms to the table. The anisthesiologist told me that they didnt have time to do a spinal block so they upped my epidural and told me to call them "numb and number!" haha he then poked my arm and asked me if I could feel it, I couldnt feel a thing! Heath came in the room and sat behind the curtain at my head. Dr. Kamyar told me that because my skin was still tight she would have to do some acrobatics to get Porter out. She did too! Heath peaked over the curtain with camera ready. We wanted to get a picture of the baby before they passed him through the window. As I sat and waited for what seemed like the longest 4 minutes of my life I waited to hear somthing. I waited to hear my baby. Dr. Kamyar told me that she could see the baby. It was then that I heard it. I heard him cry, I heard a cry that told me that my baby had a strong set of lungs. The cry meant that he was strong, alot stronger then people thought he would be. Heath took pictures as they passed him through the window to the NICU. His little arms and legs were kicking all over as if to say thank you for getting me out of that tight place. Heath followed the nurse into the NICU to see our baby. I laid on the surgical bed to to stitched up. Dr. Kamyar was able to get our precious little baby out in 4 minutes with a total time of 20 minutes when they wheeled me out. She was amazing!

I was then wheeled to my room where my family was, they all looked through the window at the baby hoping to get a glance of the "hair" that everyone was talking about. Boy did he have a head of hair! He truly is our miracle baby! Porter David Pulham was born on April 18th 2013 at 12:18 am. He was 3lbs 9oz and 16 3/4 in. long. He was perfect! We are already so in love with this little baby. We are truly blessed and have witnessed miracles. It is amazing how a little person can take up so much room in your heart.

  

 

 

 

Love, Heath Hannah Arland and baby Porter

Tired

A lot has happened in the past 3 days. On Monday morning I started having contractions and bleeding heavily ( not what most people want to hear, but I am over offending people) since I have been in this hospital room I could care less about offending people with what is going on, yes I am sick tired and grumpy so for those people that are offended get over it, you are welcome to stop reading this. It was about 5 am when everything started, my sweet nurse Ally checked me out and told me that I needed to go to labor and delivery ( I hate that place by the way) they took me to the room with the window again to the NICU ( hate that room). They started me on an IV which hurts like crap and that is because I have the worst veins in the world seriously! They then started me on saline,penicillan, magnesium and batamethazone (steroids). For my little veins it what ALOT going in my arm. When they started me on the magnesium my contractions went from 1 every minute to 1 every 10 minutes. It started to slow everything down a little bit, also the blood started to go down too. Eventually they moved me from that room to a smaller room across the hall and that next morning I got to go back to my own room! I am now exhausted, 7 weeks on bed rest is not easy and I have lost motivation for everything. Tired doesn't even explain me right now. I am so happy that I have made it to 30 weeks sat but I honestly don't know how long my body can take the physical and emotional exhaustion from this. I cry every day just hopeing that one day this will all be over and I can just take my little critter home ( my mom named Porter that) I hope for the day that I can feel like a normal person again, I am walking through mud everyday. I am hopeful for the day when I can be in the delivery room having this little boy but I fear that my body won't be strong enough, I know that women have this underlying strength within them but I am just so tired, some days I don't know howi will ever make it through this but I know that I have to, Porter needs me to be strong for him. So for here on out I just pray for the strength to make it through all of this.

Arland

Through all this time at the hospital I have a lot of thinking time. Some of the questions that I ask my self on daily basis revolve around what happened, why did this happen, why Porter, why do I have to be away from Arland at this time, is he happy? Every mother hopes and prays that their child is safe and protected over, and I pray for that every day, for both of my boys. What I worry most about is not about what I am going to do to make the time go by fastest ( i do think about that alot) it is more about Arland and is he happy? When I first got here it was so hard to see Arland cry and yell out mommy and daddy. I felt like I abandoned him, and I know in his two year old mind he felt abandoned. No matter how many times our families said "he is fine, don't worry about Arland," I WORRIED! I would get angry at my self for missing out on so many things. I can't help that we are in the situation we are in, and that was the hardest. I went from being a mommy that got her little boy out of bed at 7 am to put him in bed with me to snuggle and laugh, make breakfast and hope that he would cooperate and eat some of it, fill bubble baths and watch my little boy run to the tub so excited that I couldn't get his clothes off fast enough to splash around in the soapy water, he would love to splash hard enough to get mommy wet and then we would laugh until he would say "DONE!" I would get him out of the tub and his naked little body would run away from me because he loved being free without the diaper on. We would play with his cars and watch Toy Stoy over and over again, I would watch him take Buzz Lightyear and fly him all around the room, in his little mind I know that he is flying just like Buzz. We would let Pazely inside to play for a while and he would just smother her with loves, he would climb on her like a horse and ride her until she got sick of it
and stand up, he would fall off and laugh. Arland loves to go to the park and go down slides, he
always looks at me before going down the slide and yells " mom!" Like he is saying watch me! Then we clap and praise him for overcoming a big fear. I was that mom, I was the mom that was so tired at the end of the day because we laughed, explored and played all day and I would watch Arland late at night after he was asleep in his crib. He amazed me as I would watch him. I remember a book that was given to me on my first Mother's Day. A mother talked about watching her kids sleep at night and the thought came to her that her kids would never be this little ever again. They are a baby once, a toddler once, a child on their first day of kindergarten once and they will never be that little person again. So as she watched her child sleep that night she thought about what a blessing it is to be their mother at that exact moment. I did that with Arland.
When we first came here I had a visitor that had a baby that was born at 25 weeks, the baby was 1.5 lbs. and was still at Primary Children's, she had been there for over 100 days and the mom came to talk to us about what to expect with Porter. Something she said stuck to me. She said that there are a lot of parents out there that wonder, why? She told me that although she doesn't have and answer she does know that everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason and it may be a lesson that we need to learn. She said that she has learned patience more than anything through all of this. When she left Heath and I talk about some of the things that we could learn from this. I think that we are learning to slow down and be patient as well. Nothing makes you slow down like 10 weeks on bed rest! But I am sure there are a lot of other things that we will learn through this process. Life use to be busy, crazy and hectic with work, finishing school, house work and many other things, sometimes all that matters are the small things like making time to snuggle in bed with your hubby and baby just a little bit longer in the morning, making pancakes with your two year old so they feel included in creating a mess rather then just a piece of toast in the morning, getting on the floor and playing cars, reading books to your kids while they snuggle on your lap.
I miss all of those things and more, I miss the past month that I have missed out on with Arland. The days that I do get to see him I love because he is so happy. I know that he is happy with his grandma and that makes me happy, I pray everyday that he is happy. There are lessons in everything and I try to remember everyday that it is a gift to have been here for as long as I have. I can't wait to see Porter as a baby, toddler, kindergartener. I can't wait to see Arland as a brother.

Update

Well here we are at almost 27 weeks! My days break down to three different sections during the day Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner Once lunch has come and gone I know that I only have dinner left and then I can go to bed and that is another day DONE! That is my life now at least until this babe makes his grand entrance at 34 weeks (fingers crossed.) my doctors say that if I make it to 34 weeks they will induce me then. After 34 weeks I have a higher chance of getting an infection and the risk out ways the benefits at that point in keeping him inside me. Porter has been doing really well lately, his heart rate which they check every 4 hours is between 140 and 160. I feel him moving around a lot. The nurses here have been really great and optimistic about my situation. They said that a lot of moms that have their water broken early can make it to 34 weeks so we have high hopes of this! It is just that we hope that I don't get an infection early. During the day I have been reading, watching tv, crocheting and cross stitching. I have a lot of projects here which has been nice because they are going to have to keep me entertained for the next 7 weeks! I have also had so many visitors and I am so thankful that they have taken the time to come and see me. (Melissa and Jason Cheney, Rachel and Jeff Mortenson, Shianne and CJ Healey, Colton and Harley, and many other people) Our families have been wonderful and supportive through this whole process. They take care of Arland and take time to stay with me at the hospital so I don't have to be alone here. One of my biggest fears is that I will go into labor so fast and no body will be here, so they have made sure that I am not alone. My grandma has been staying with me during the day and it has been so nice to have her company. I truly could not do it without all the people that have helped us along the way. I miss Arland like crazy, I miss being his mommy. When I see him I can't believe how much he has grown in the month that I have been here. He is such a little boy and it breaks my heart that I am missing out on so much. It does make me feel better that he is happy at my families house and he has so many people to play with but it is hard not to think about all the things I am missing out on. He LOVES when Heath picks him up for the day or night and will not let Heath out of his sight. Heath tries to take Arland home to sleep in his own bed as often as he can but Heath tells me that every time they pull up to the house Arland sees my car and says' mommy! I know this time will go fast and the past month has but it is sure hard to be away from my little family at this time. Everyday is a miracle that we have made it to this point, I am so thankful for all the help that has been shown our way and for the time that people have taken to come and see us. We have seen miracles and we are so thankful for the prayers that have been sent our way.

Baby Porter

Well here we are, we made it to 25 weeks! I know that may seem so early to some (which it is) but considering what we have been through and that I have been on bed rest at the hospital for the past 2 weeks, I consider this a huge accomplishment. Baby is still inside of me and that means that he has had two more weeks of growing which is huge compared to where we started at (23 weeks).
The thought of being here for 10 more weeks seems awful at times but I know that every day or week that I am here is a huge accomplishment! I just have to stay entertained (Reading, Crocheting, Catching up on missed television series.) It is definitely boring sometimes but I am so thankful that he has been able to continue growing inside of me.
We had an ultrasound yesterday to do a full anatomy scan on the little guy. I was a little scared to go outside of my room because me laying in bed is all I can do at this point and I know that I don't want to mess up a routine that is "working." They came in my room around 1 pm with a wheelchair and took me down the hall to have the ultrasound done. Porter looked great! One of my biggest concerns is that with me having low fluid that he would start to have a slower growth rate. I was afraid that I would have next to no fluid in there because of my water breaking, and this would be hard for him to continue growing. To my surprise they measured his brain, stomach, legs, arms and everything else and found that he was completely on track to what his weight should be for 25 weeks! His estimated weight is 1.9 lbs. Then they measured my fluid. At 20 weeks I measured at 1.8 (you should be between 10-20) and the next week I measured 3.9. Well yesterday I measured at 4.9! I was so relieved to find out that he was able to have some water in there still to continue to grow. It may be higher because I am laying down all the time and so some water is able to stay in there. The doctor told me that everything looks great with Porter, and that I shouldn't keep my mind set on the fact that my water was at 4.9. I will continue to leak water because my water is broken (PROM is what they call it Premature Ruptured Membranes) I may be at a 4.9 this week and lower next week because my body just cant retain that water with it being broken. The hope is that water will continue to replenish itself and that Porter will continue to grow at the rate that he is! We are very hopefully and optimistic of this right now. In the mean time, we are trying to continue with day to day goal and plans, nothing is really planned in advance because we don't know what will happen and we are so thankful that we can just make it through one more day here.
Heath has started going back to work, but he comes to stay with me at the hospital at night in case something were to happen. He goes to see Arland as often as he can, and Arland is brought to the hospital as often as he can as well. I miss my little family and it is so hard being here and knowing that there is not a whole lot I can do to help my little boy or Heath when they need it. I miss them everyday. I know that they are being watched over and taken care of and I am so thankful for that. Heath and I are so thankful for the many prayers that have been said for us, we know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us and that he is watching over and protecting our little family. We are so thankful for our families, Arland loves his aunts, uncles, grandma's, grandpa's so much and we are so thankful for the time that they have taken to love and comfort him while his mommy and daddy cant. We do what we can as his parents at this time, and the time that we do get to be with him is precious. More updates will be posted as we go along, we are so extremely happy that we are here at 25 weeks! We are so happy that he is growing, and we are so thankful for the love and support that has been shown to us.

Unexpected Turns

Heath and I have had a major turn of events the past week, month, year and I felt it appropriate to journal some of the major events that have occurred in our lives. I don't expect many people to read this, mainly because it is a very personal experience for the both of us, but as I have continued this blog over the past 5 years I have found that this is not just my "mom blog" but it is my life story, my journal. I have fears that if I write my thoughts down on paper I will lose them in a fire, flood (you name it and disaster) and I will lose those memories forever. By keeping this blog I have found that I can access my journal anywhere! And all those memories that I share with my sweet husband and little boy are saved and documented with photos that I can see wherever and whenever I want.

Heath and I have loved and lived in a sweet little home near our families for the past three years, we bought our home together, worked on it together, made dreams of our future and family in that house. One January 25th 2011 we welcomed our little Arland to that home where we made so many memories as our little family of three. Heath and I both made our lives as crazy as possible by working and going to school being mommy and daddy, husband and wife and many other roles. We have loved seeing our little Arland grow and learn in that house. We decided about 6 months ago that we wanted to expand our little family to a family of 4! Yes we found out that we were pregnant and decided make plans of selling our house and moving to a bigger one closer to our families. We are so excited to make this move! Of course it is sad to pack up some of our memories in that little red brick house that we have worked so hard on and loved so much, but we are so excited to make new memories and watch our 2 little boys grow as brothers and best friends.

Through all of our excitement and changes, Heath and I decided that I would be leaving my job which I have enjoyed loved and made lasting friendships through after I had baby #2. At 18 weeks that day came sooner than expected. I had some complications with baby and was taken to the emergency room. We were so scared of what was going to come of our little one. Trevor and Chelsee came to get Arland while we waited to find out what was going on with our ultrasound. They told me that I had Placenta Previa, and abnormally low fluid. They were concerned that I had a rip in my water which was leaking amniotic fluid and they were concerned with the fact that maybe it had broken all the way. They sent me home with the anticipation that I would be taking things a little bit easier. I had appointments with my OBGYN every week and with the Parientologist every week to check fluid levels. A normal range for fluid is 10-20, I was at a 1.8 on my first day. The second week I reached 3.9 and the next was 4.9. I felt confidant that I could maintain my "higher" levels throughout my pregnancy.

At 23 weeks on Sat March 2nd 2013 I woke up to get ready for a baby shower. I was doing my hair in the bathroom when I felt a knotted pain in my lower right abdomen. It was so bad that I couldn't stand any more so I told Heath that I needed to lay down. I didn't think it was contractions because I thought that contractions let up every now and then. This NEVER let up. It started to send electric shocks down my right leg and I told Heath that I wanted to call the doctor. It was Saturday so the clinic was closed but my on call doctor called me back and told me that it was probably sciatic nerve, he also told me that if I was concerned about it I could always go to the women's center at the hospital to have them do a non stress test to make sure everything is ok. Heath and I called his parents to come get Arland so we could go to the hospital, and we were on our way. When we reached the hospital my pain stopped, they decided to check me any way because I had really low fluid. After the NST they were ready to let us go! Everything was ok, then my doctor came in to the room (he was delivering a baby that day any way) and asked if he could do an ultrasound to check my fluid. We thought that would be a good idea, so he left the room to get the machine. As he left, I felt a sudden gush of fluid come out of me. I looked at Heath and told him that I though my water broke. We took everything off and realized that I had just broken my water completely. The doctor came back to the room and tested the fluid, it was positive for amniotic fluid. My fears had been confirmed, my water was broken and I was only 23 weeks pregnant with this little person. What was going to happen to me? What was going to happen to the baby? Heath, Arland? Why was this all happening right now, why couldn't I be further along? My nurse came back in the room and told me that they could not deliver my baby at Timpanogos hospital because he was still too early so they would bring an ambulance to take me to University of Utah hospital. They then had to get an IV in me and after about 4 times they finally brought the anesthesiologist in to give me the IV. My arms were bruised and bloody. I was so scared and I didn't want Heath to leave me for one second. My doctor then gave me a hug and told me that an ambulance would not be fast enough so they would be bringing the helicopter in. A HELICOPTER! It took a while to wrap my brain around the fact that this was a really serious situation and I needed to get to the hospital fast. I started to have contractions at this point. Life Flight entered my room and as I lay there crying and hyperventilating the nurse from the helicopter team held my face and looked into my eyes and told me that I was going to be ok. She told me that these things happen for a reason and it had nothing to do with me or it being my fault. She told me that I would be in the best hands for care in all of the western United States. She told me that she would stay with me. They moved me from my hospital bed to the stretcher and she held my hand as they strapped me to the bed. I laid on my side closing my eyes as they wheeled me through the hospital and out the door to the helicopter. As I laid there in the helicopter I kept my eyes closed, I prayed to my Heavenly Father that he would protect me and my baby, that we would be safe, that I wouldnt be alone. I sang primary songs in my head as the helicopter took off and I kept my eyes closed. Every now and then my nurse would ask if I was ok (to make sure I was conscious still) and I would only open my eyes then. I soon felt the helicopter land and the door lift up in the back. They pulled back the stretcher and wheeled me into the hospital, because I still had my eyes closed I could hear my mom crying as we entered labor and deliver and I opened my eyes long enough to see my dad touch my forehead as they wheeled me to a small dark room with a window. I looked everywhere for Heath. He met his dad, and he rode with his dad up to the hospital. He soon came in the room and sat with me as they hooked up my IV and got me moved to a delivery bed. My doctor came in the room and asked me so many questions that I cannot remember at this time. I was tired and emotional. Dr. Chin told me that I was in a room where if I had my baby they would be able to pass the baby through a small window to the NICU. This way the baby would not have to be moved around the halls. She told Heath and I that we would have to make some major decisions about what we would do if we had our baby that night. Heath and I never thought that we would ever have to make these kinds of decisions in our life. If baby was born, would be prolong life at 23 weeks? Would the baby suffer? Would we let them work on our baby till the end? What was the end? They told us that at 23 weeks baby has 50/50 chance. All of the information was so overwhelming and we knew that we needed to make these major decisions now before everything was to happen. Heath and I cried and decided that we would fight for our baby. After we made that decision, they started me on steroid injections (for babies lungs to develop faster) and Magnesium (prevent babies brain from clotting, and slow down labor). They gave me the shot (which was like tar going into the blood stream) and started my magnesium on my IV. My nurse whom we LOVED (Devon is her name) told me that I would feel hot and puffy and uncomfortable on the drug. She was right. At this point my IV had blown out in my arm (for the tenth time!) And they put the IV in my foot. I felt the heat in my body from the magnesium rise from my foot to my knees, hips, chest, and up to my head. They took my temperature to make sure that I didn't have a fever (I felt like I was 5,000 degrees!) It was 100.8 high but normal. We slept as much as we could that first night (which wasn't very much) We hoped and prayed that I would be able to stop the contractions, and they did! We were then moved to another room across the hall (which was a huge relief because that meant that baby was still inside of me and growing. Family came by to see me, and I was finally able to see my little Arland! I have the best family in the world, they have supported us, loved Arland, and kept us in good spirits through this entire thing.

Heath and I made the decision to tell our families that we had chosen a name for our little baby the night that they all came to visit in Labor and Delivery. We wanted baby to have a name so that we could feel closer to him and to identify him as part of our family, no matter how early he was. His name is Porter David Pulham. We named him after my dad, my dad is a very special person in my life and he is one of the strongest people that I know too. We wanted Porter to have some of his strength as he fights through this difficult time. His name is what gets us through these hard times and knowing that we can connect with him by calling his name throughout the day.

After a few days passed we were able to be moved out of labor and delivery and to the women's center! They said that because I stopped having contractions and I was in a much more stable condition they could send me to a more comfortable environment. Heath and I were so relieved to be moved because that meant that Porter had a fighting chance at staying inside of me longer. They told me that if things went well I could be there for 10 weeks (the goal is 34 weeks). It seemed long at first and maybe it will get harder as time goes on but it has already been a week! My baby has been inside for 1 more week! Every day is a mile stone. We are so thankful that Heavenly Father has given us the chance to be parents, I miss my little Arland EVERY single minute of the day. I miss his smile, I miss watching toy story all the time I miss making easy mac and cheese, I miss snuggling in mom and dads bed, I miss talking with his little spirit as we drive in the car, I miss my baby. But as I miss all of these things right now I know that I have this other little spirit inside of me that needs me more then ever right now. I am Arlands mother, but I am also Porters mother and at this crucial time in my child's development I need to be as available to Porters needs as possible. That means that we wait and gain time. I am so thankful to my family (Neuberts and Pulhams) for taking care of my little boy when I cannot. Arland has the most peaceful spirit and I am so thankful to be his mother. He is gentle, kind, silly, happy and strong. I know that he is in the best hands possible.

Heath has been my rock. He has been with me through anything and everything. I am so thankful that he is the father to my children and I thank heavenly father every day that we were brought together. He is strong and keeps me positive. I know that this whole process has been difficult for him to see his wife  and baby in a critical situation. I was really scared and I can only imagine the emotions he must be feeling. I love him more than words can describe, he has supported me and talked to me about our future and Porter. He is the best daddy in the world, Arland loves him to the moon and back! It make me so happy when I see their faces light up when they see each other. They are best friends. Porter is so lucky to have him as a daddy.

As time goes on we will wait and see. Every day is a miracle, we are thankful for every day that I am in this room pregnant still. I wanted to write all of these things down while they are fresh in my mind. This story is personal to me and I never want to lose it. I love my little family, Heath is the best thing that has ever happened to me, Arland is my little sunshine that I feel so blessed to have every day and Porter is my little miracle every day. Every day he gets stronger.

A Birthday fit for a 2 year old!

We started off the day going to lunch with aunt Whitney and cousin Adie. We had lunch at the Arctic Circle play place (Yes hands were washed and a bath happend at the end of the day), I was so proud of Arland for over coming his fear of the slide, not just the small slide shown above but he even got brave enough to go down the big tube slide at the end! Luckily Arlands cousin adie is a dare devil and has enough confidence to show him the ropes on how to go down the slides. We had so much fun with them!

A party at Grandpa and Grandma Neuberts!

We had a TOY STORY party for Arland birthday and boy did it turn out adorable. He even got all dressed up as Buzz light year! (His favorite part of the whole party)

 

 I made a Toy Story cake for his birthday that had the clouds from the movie and both Buzz and Woody were on top! Surrounding the cake were cupcakes that had little army men on top of them.

 The Happy Birthday banner was western cowboy, and the balloons were in clusters of Buzz light year colors, and woody colors.

 Arland was so excited to open his presents!

 He also had a blast with his cousin Adie

 Daddy and Arland

 Arlands little friend Charlee came to the party too and he loved playing with her!

 Happy Birthday my little boy! I can believe that you are two already, your smile makes me so happy every day and I am so thankful that you chose me to be your mother. Mommy and Daddy love you so much!