Good

I am sure most every mother feels like their children are innately good. Or at least I hope every mother feels that way towards their child. The past month we have hit this amazing phase with Arland. Six months ago I felt like I lost my Arland, because of his seizures I felt like his personality changed drastically and I was in mourning over my little person and who he use to be. I had talked to mothers who had experienced similar personality changes in their children and I asked them if their children ever got back to their "normal" personality. Most of them said No. I was devistated! I could not accept that my sweet boy who was so incredibly smart would never be the same. That he would be in a constant state of agitation and anxiety, that he would be sad/depressed all the time or angry. I just refuse to accept that. I feel so  much empathy for all those mothers and fathers who have experienced the loss of their child's "being" in this craziness of epilepsy. Through all of this though I know for a fact that not only is Arland never going to be the same, but neither am I. Of course I am more paranoid, anxious, stressed and confused, but I am also more aware, educated, and sympathetic. I am stronger and so is Arland. 

We have found a new neuro that we love right now. She is brilliant and caring, and she is very available to us. We are now going on 5 weeks since his last seizure, and I don't know if or when another one will happen, but I am so thankful for all that has been done to take care of my little one. We have been able to keep Arland on a lower dose of his medication which has made him so much happier. He is so much more himself these days! And that is all I can ask for :) the other day Porter hit Arland and he turned to face Porter and said "Porter we don't hit in this family." My mom heart could have burst that he recognized not to hit back :) 

Another time we were driving in the car and I told Arland to keep his brother happy and he said "mom, Porters happy, I will just hold his hand." 

I believe with all my heart that I got a good one :) Arland is innately good. He is kind and caring and he feels others emotions. I am just so thankful he is mine. 

Positive vibes

I just wanted to thank everyone that has prayed for our family and our sweet Arland. It has been a really long hard journey that is no where near over. And we are ok with that. I just want my Arland seizure free and healthy. I am so thankful for all the positive advice and words of wisdom for us. We are so new to all of this that we are looking for all and any answers to help us find a way to help our little boy. His medication he is on seems to be working and he is on 2 medications, we know from our experiences with him so far that he is NOT ready to be weaned off of either of them, his brain needs both. Arland has been diagnosed with epilepsy, he is general tonic clonic, which is defined as having seizures over his entire brain. His entire body shakes. I am writing this post to answer some questions that I am asked on a regular basis by friends and family. 

I have changed his diet. He is off milk and  most sugar. He takes a multivitamin, probiotic, b-12 supplement, and fish oil everyday. 

Most people reading this probably think, why is she writing all this? Well, I have a lot of people with really great intentions telling me I need to be doing a lot of different things for my little one and I am so thankful for the advice. I just hope nobody is offended when I choose not to implement their advice. I am so thankful for the effort that people make in wanting to help better my little ones health. And I ultimately want the absolute BEST for him. Which means that there are certain things which I think could benefit him (medications, oils, supplements), but through my own personal research and question/answer I have found that a lot of things which seam harmless or "natural" can also be harmful for my little one. Many things can help seizures, but MANY  things can cause seizures. This condition which my son has is not a broken bone or some kind of cough/cold to be treated. It is a condition of the brain, which ultimately controls our personalities, behavior, and our quality of life. I am open to trying the new "treat all" "healing""natural" path for my little one, but what I need is for people to understand that I am going to be hesitant with anything and everything (medication, oils, antibiotics, vitimins) because in the end I DO want a cure or answer to this horrible disease. I DO want my son to be healthy, and I don't want anything to hurt him. 

So when something claims to be the  "cure all" for epilepsy, I want facts and statistical evidence, not just testimonials. 

Thank you all for your love and support, I am SO EXTREMELY hopeful that my Arland will be able to beat this. He is stronger and smarter then anyone I know and he has the biggest heart. We could not be where we are with out our Heavenly Father and his guidance through this trial. 

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart. Hannah 

My little man

These kids get me every day! I am completely overcome with gratitude everyday that my children are happy and healthy. Arland has guided us through some very scary times in our life, but he continues to show us his strength through it all. A couple weeks ago he relapsed back into havin seizures after going 6 weeks with out having one. We think it's a combination of weaning him off of one medication and having a cold. Any time he gets sick, he is prone to having more seizures. It was one of the most difficult things seeing my baby have to go through all of this. He had 10 seizures in one day and after battleing people in the ER to give him his medicine (which they refused) ( yes I was ready to knock someone out, momma bear came out) he had a 12 minute seizure. 12 MINUTES! So after that they decided enough with the games we will give te kid his medicine. It was REDICULOUS! So any way we are in the process of looking for a different neurologist. 

You would think that all that trauma to his little brain would hinder his abilities, but he surprises me every day. Today this conversation took place: 

Me: "arland, your hat has the letter 'A' on it, for Arland!"

Arland: "mom, that is like a triangle!" 

Also the kids prayers are incredible and so powerful! He is so smart and continues to learn and grow every day! How I love this little man of mine.