Good

I am sure most every mother feels like their children are innately good. Or at least I hope every mother feels that way towards their child. The past month we have hit this amazing phase with Arland. Six months ago I felt like I lost my Arland, because of his seizures I felt like his personality changed drastically and I was in mourning over my little person and who he use to be. I had talked to mothers who had experienced similar personality changes in their children and I asked them if their children ever got back to their "normal" personality. Most of them said No. I was devistated! I could not accept that my sweet boy who was so incredibly smart would never be the same. That he would be in a constant state of agitation and anxiety, that he would be sad/depressed all the time or angry. I just refuse to accept that. I feel so  much empathy for all those mothers and fathers who have experienced the loss of their child's "being" in this craziness of epilepsy. Through all of this though I know for a fact that not only is Arland never going to be the same, but neither am I. Of course I am more paranoid, anxious, stressed and confused, but I am also more aware, educated, and sympathetic. I am stronger and so is Arland. 

We have found a new neuro that we love right now. She is brilliant and caring, and she is very available to us. We are now going on 5 weeks since his last seizure, and I don't know if or when another one will happen, but I am so thankful for all that has been done to take care of my little one. We have been able to keep Arland on a lower dose of his medication which has made him so much happier. He is so much more himself these days! And that is all I can ask for :) the other day Porter hit Arland and he turned to face Porter and said "Porter we don't hit in this family." My mom heart could have burst that he recognized not to hit back :) 

Another time we were driving in the car and I told Arland to keep his brother happy and he said "mom, Porters happy, I will just hold his hand." 

I believe with all my heart that I got a good one :) Arland is innately good. He is kind and caring and he feels others emotions. I am just so thankful he is mine.