Sunday, April 28, 2013

Birth Story of:

I have since realized that after being released from the hospital that I have absolutley no time to do anything any more. I have gone from a sluggish physically and emotionally exhausted person to a crazy person trying to do everything and be everywhere all at once. That is what happends when you have a two year old at home who hasnt lived with you for the past two months and a little baby in the NICU.
The day that Porter was born is a day that will forever be engraved in my memmory. It started mostly on Sunday, I had started to feel incredibly tired and so emotional (not that pregnant ladies are already emotional this was a million times worse!) I thought of it as just being tired of being at the hospital. I told Heath that I was just so tired of everything. I was tired of being in that hospital room with one window that I rarely got to look out of because I had to stay in bed, I was SO tired of the food. I was getting mean to some of the nurses, I was just TIRED! I couldnt tell if the ache in my back was just from sitting in bed for so long, I could barely get the strength in my legs to stand in the shower any more and every time I stood up my hip would lock out of place. I literally felt like I was falling apart. My inlaws came over that Sunday, and I was just miserable. My sister in law told me that I looked like I wasnt feeling well and boy was she right! That night I cried to Heath about how I didnt know if I could be in that room much longer, I knew that I had to but the thought was unbarable. I eventually fell asleep and that next morning at 5am I woke up in labor. I started bleeding and the doctors were afrain that I could start hemoraging so they rushed Heath and I to Labor and Delivery. The previous post "Tired" explains what happend there. They hooked me up to an IV and started giving me steroids and magnesium to ease my labor. I went from having contractions every minute to every 15 minutes. The steroids were given to help the baby with his lungs at birth and the magnesium was for the babies brain to prevent brain bleads. I absolutley HATE that magnesium. The drug makes to feel like you are swimming through mud, HOT mud. I was so groggy and dilirious, feeling like I was a thousand degrees. I remember being wheeled into that room and not feeling the panic that I felt the first time we were in that room. The first time they wheeled us into the room with the window to the NICU I felt scared, helpless, unsure because we didnt know if our little 23 week baby would choose to come that night. This felt different, Heath and I talked about how calm we felt (scared but calm) we knew that if he came tonight he would be strong, he would be comforted and he would be able to fight for this life alot harder then his little body would have at 23 weeks. 
Heath called our families telling them that we had been taken to Labor and Delivery, they came as soon as possible staying with us in that little room until things stabalized with my contractions. They monitored me for infection signs are (fever, nausea, tender stomache, bleeding, blood test showing high blood count).
Eventually our families left and they wheeled Heath and I to our room where we would hopefully be able to keep this baby in a little bit longer.
On Wednesday I woke up with the worst indigestion that I have ever had (I had not had this problem my whole pregnancy). I was really dehydrated and every time I drake water I felt like it was stuck right at my throught and wouldnt go down. My nurse pumped me with every anti nausea indigestion medication you can think of. It would not stop. I had a horrible pain in my back again and anyway that I laid in my bed I could not get comfortable. My good friend Shelby came to visit me and my mom that day and she brought me my favorite pregnancy food, a cheap crunchy taco from taco bell. haha weird cravings! I was still so sick though. I kept telling them that I was feeling really strange that day, I was so thirsty but couldnt drink anything and I was so uncomfortable. My doctor then came in and listned to the babies heart beat. It was unusually high 160-170. His base line is usually 140, she then told me that she wanted to feel my stomache and I flinched right as she touched me. My body was hurting. My nurse took out my IV and had two nurses from life flight replace it. (I am a hard stick) They usually are some of the best people to put an IV because they can do it in the most random places in the air. They got it in on the 4th try and went on their way. I asked my nurse before if she could just wait to put an IV in because I hated them so bad. She told me that she had a feeling that I needed a fresh IV in for that day. They did some blood work after that and then Dr. Weber came to my room. She is my high risk OB and told me that she wanted me to go back to labor and deliver for some monitoring. My grandma and aunts had come to visit at this point and were able to see me for a small period of time. Shelby walked with me down to Labor and Delivery and called Heath to tell him what was going on. My mom picked up all of my personal belongings and came down later. They hooked up my IV and started me on fluids. I thought my contractions were around 15 minutes apart, it seems as though I was wrong though, they were 3 minutes apart, I just couldnt tell because they were leaving a constant pain in my back. My back hurt the worst. My team of doctors came in to talk to me about what was going on. Shelby called Heath and put him on speaker phone. They told me that I was in labor and they couldnt do anything to stop it because I had a  infection called corio, coria (not sure how to spell it). They babies heart rate was up and they needed the baby to come that day. Dr. Kamyar (she is my main high risk OB and I LOVED her!) told me that at 29 weeks and 5 days Porter would be born. He would have a high risk of undeveloped lungs and because of my low fluid he may have problems moving around his little arms and legs because he was inside of such a tight space for such a long time. But with all of the things that could be wrong we felt that he had a higher chance of things going right if we could get him out of my body which had an infection at this point. I started to fever and then Dr. Kamyar sent in the anesthesiologist to give me my epidural. It was WONDERFUL! I was finally able to relax for a while and let my body prepare to have this baby.
Our families arrived at the hospital and we were able to relax much more this time then two months earlier. There was a peace in the room that I will never forget. I know for a fact that Porter was supposed to come at that time because of the peace and comfort we felt in that room that day. We were definitley being watched over and comforted that day. After two hours on the Pitocen I was dialted to a 3! We had made great progress, 5 hours passed though and Dr. Kamyar came into tell me that I was still at a 3. She told me that she wanted to do a c-section. My heart rate was too high and the babies heart rate was dropping too low. She told me that we needed to get him out and I had NO problem with that. They wheeled me into the surgical room and prepped me for surgery. I drank this anti nausia medicine that made me feel like I had just drank 40 gallons of grape juice, it was aweful! I was shaking really bad as they strapped my arms to the table. The anisthesiologist told me that they didnt have time to do a spinal block so they upped my epidural and told me to call them "numb and number!" haha he then poked my arm and asked me if I could feel it, I couldnt feel a thing! Heath came in the room and sat behind the curtain at my head. Dr. Kamyar told me that because my skin was still tight she would have to do some acrobatics to get Porter out. She did too! Heath peaked over the curtain with camera ready. We wanted to get a picture of the baby before they passed him through the window. As I sat and waited for what seemed like the longest 4 minutes of my life I waited to hear somthing. I waited to hear my baby. Dr. Kamyar told me that she could see the baby. It was then that I heard it. I heard him cry, I heard a cry that told me that my baby had a strong set of lungs. The cry meant that he was strong, alot stronger then people thought he would be. Heath took pictures as they passed him through the window to the NICU. His little arms and legs were kicking all over as if to say thank you for getting me out of that tight place. Heath followed the nurse into the NICU to see our baby. I laid on the surgical bed to to stitched up. Dr. Kamyar was able to get our precious little baby out in 4 minutes with a total time of 20 minutes when they wheeled me out. She was amazing!
I was then wheeled to my room where my family was, they all looked through the window at the baby hoping to get a glance of the "hair" that everyone was talking about. Boy did he have a head of hair! He truly is our miracle baby! Porter David Pulham was born on April 18th 2013 at 12:18 am. He was 3lbs 9oz and 16 3/4 in. long. He was perfect! We are already so in love with this little baby. We are truly blessed and have witnessed miracles. It is amazing how a little person can take up so much room in your heart.

Love, Heath Hannah Arland and baby Porter

Wednesday, April 17, 2013


A lot has happened in the past 3 days. On Monday morning I started having contractions and bleeding heavily ( not what most people want to hear, but I am over offending people) since I have been in this hospital room I could care less about offending people with what is going on, yes I am sick tired and grumpy so for those people that are offended get over it, you are welcome to stop reading this. It was about 5 am when everything started, my sweet nurse Ally checked me out and told me that I needed to go to labor and delivery ( I hate that place by the way) they took me to the room with the window again to the NICU ( hate that room). They started me on an IV which hurts like crap and that is because I have the worst veins in the world seriously! They then started me on saline,penicillan, magnesium and batamethazone (steroids). For my little veins it what ALOT going in my arm. When they started me on the magnesium my contractions went from 1 every minute to 1 every 10 minutes. It started to slow everything down a little bit, also the blood started to go down too. Eventually they moved me from that room to a smaller room across the hall and that next morning I got to go back to my own room! I am now exhausted, 7 weeks on bed rest is not easy and I have lost motivation for everything. Tired doesn't even explain me right now. I am so happy that I have made it to 30 weeks sat but I honestly don't know how long my body can take the physical and emotional exhaustion from this. I cry every day just hopeing that one day this will all be over and I can just take my little critter home ( my mom named Porter that) I hope for the day that I can feel like a normal person again, I am walking through mud everyday. I am hopeful for the day when I can be in the delivery room having this little boy but I fear that my body won't be strong enough, I know that women have this underlying strength within them but I am just so tired, some days I don't know howi will ever make it through this but I know that I have to, Porter needs me to be strong for him. So for here on out I just pray for the strength to make it through all of this.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013


Through all this time at the hospital I have a lot of thinking time. Some of the questions that I ask my self on daily basis revolve around what happened, why did this happen, why Porter, why do I have to be away from Arland at this time, is he happy? Every mother hopes and prays that their child is safe and protected over, and I pray for that every day, for both of my boys. What I worry most about is not about what I am going to do to make the time go by fastest ( i do think about that alot) it is more about Arland and is he happy? When I first got here it was so hard to see Arland cry and yell out mommy and daddy. I felt like I abandoned him, and I know in his two year old mind he felt abandoned. No matter how many times our families said "he is fine, don't worry about Arland," I WORRIED! I would get angry at my self for missing out on so many things. I can't help that we are in the situation we are in, and that was the hardest. I went from being a mommy that got her little boy out of bed at 7 am to put him in bed with me to snuggle and laugh, make breakfast and hope that he would cooperate and eat some of it, fill bubble baths and watch my little boy run to the tub so excited that I couldn't get his clothes off fast enough to splash around in the soapy water, he would love to splash hard enough to get mommy wet and then we would laugh until he would say "DONE!" I would get him out of the tub and his naked little body would run away from me because he loved being free without the diaper on. We would play with his cars and watch Toy Stoy over and over again, I would watch him take Buzz Lightyear and fly him all around the room, in his little mind I know that he is flying just like Buzz. We would let Pazely inside to play for a while and he would just smother her with loves, he would climb on her like a horse and ride her until she got sick of it
and stand up, he would fall off and laugh. Arland loves to go to the park and go down slides, he
always looks at me before going down the slide and yells " mom!" Like he is saying watch me! Then we clap and praise him for overcoming a big fear. I was that mom, I was the mom that was so tired at the end of the day because we laughed, explored and played all day and I would watch Arland late at night after he was asleep in his crib. He amazed me as I would watch him. I remember a book that was given to me on my first Mother's Day. A mother talked about watching her kids sleep at night and the thought came to her that her kids would never be this little ever again. They are a baby once, a toddler once, a child on their first day of kindergarten once and they will never be that little person again. So as she watched her child sleep that night she thought about what a blessing it is to be their mother at that exact moment. I did that with Arland.
When we first came here I had a visitor that had a baby that was born at 25 weeks, the baby was 1.5 lbs. and was still at Primary Children's, she had been there for over 100 days and the mom came to talk to us about what to expect with Porter. Something she said stuck to me. She said that there are a lot of parents out there that wonder, why? She told me that although she doesn't have and answer she does know that everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason and it may be a lesson that we need to learn. She said that she has learned patience more than anything through all of this. When she left Heath and I talk about some of the things that we could learn from this. I think that we are learning to slow down and be patient as well. Nothing makes you slow down like 10 weeks on bed rest! But I am sure there are a lot of other things that we will learn through this process. Life use to be busy, crazy and hectic with work, finishing school, house work and many other things, sometimes all that matters are the small things like making time to snuggle in bed with your hubby and baby just a little bit longer in the morning, making pancakes with your two year old so they feel included in creating a mess rather then just a piece of toast in the morning, getting on the floor and playing cars, reading books to your kids while they snuggle on your lap.
I miss all of those things and more, I miss the past month that I have missed out on with Arland. The days that I do get to see him I love because he is so happy. I know that he is happy with his grandma and that makes me happy, I pray everyday that he is happy. There are lessons in everything and I try to remember everyday that it is a gift to have been here for as long as I have. I can't wait to see Porter as a baby, toddler, kindergartener. I can't wait to see Arland as a brother.