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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Tired

A lot has happened in the past 3 days. On Monday morning I started having contractions and bleeding heavily ( not what most people want to hear, but I am over offending people) since I have been in this hospital room I could care less about offending people with what is going on, yes I am sick tired and grumpy so for those people that are offended get over it, you are welcome to stop reading this. It was about 5 am when everything started, my sweet nurse Ally checked me out and told me that I needed to go to labor and delivery ( I hate that place by the way) they took me to the room with the window again to the NICU ( hate that room). They started me on an IV which hurts like crap and that is because I have the worst veins in the world seriously! They then started me on saline,penicillan, magnesium and batamethazone (steroids). For my little veins it what ALOT going in my arm. When they started me on the magnesium my contractions went from 1 every minute to 1 every 10 minutes. It started to slow everything down a little bit, also the blood started to go down too. Eventually they moved me from that room to a smaller room across the hall and that next morning I got to go back to my own room! I am now exhausted, 7 weeks on bed rest is not easy and I have lost motivation for everything. Tired doesn't even explain me right now. I am so happy that I have made it to 30 weeks sat but I honestly don't know how long my body can take the physical and emotional exhaustion from this. I cry every day just hopeing that one day this will all be over and I can just take my little critter home ( my mom named Porter that) I hope for the day that I can feel like a normal person again, I am walking through mud everyday. I am hopeful for the day when I can be in the delivery room having this little boy but I fear that my body won't be strong enough, I know that women have this underlying strength within them but I am just so tired, some days I don't know howi will ever make it through this but I know that I have to, Porter needs me to be strong for him. So for here on out I just pray for the strength to make it through all of this.

3 comments:

Josie Fox said...

I love reading your story! You and your little one are in our prayers!

Brie said...

Hey! This is Skyler Hokama's wife, Brie. Sorry if this is weird but Skyler has been telling me about what's been going on. i'm so sorry your little family is going through this! You have very right to be grumpy, I can't imagine how hard it must be. We are definitely praying for you guys!

Kendra said...

Love you Hannah. I can't even imagine what you are going through. You are one tough woman, and I look up to you so much. even if you cry everyday and feel grumpy, you have every right to be. 7 weeks in a hospital is a VERY LONG TIME! You are in my thoughts and prayers.