Positivity

Lately I have been feeling a little down, and over whelmed. As you can see, from my previous posts that we have been experiencing a lot with our little Arland. It has now been a month since we started this journey with him. When he started having seizures a month ago I didn't know what to feel. I was mostly scared but I acted on adrenaline. As we brought him home from primaries Heath and I started to feel a little bit of normalcy coming back and then two weeks later Arland had another seizure. Since then  He has had more, but not consistent. His medication seems to be working, and his behavior is getting back to himself. The first couple weeks were HARD. He had so many angry tantrums or he would be extremely hyper... Never a middle ground. But as time goes on I can't help but be thankful that he is starting to be himself again. 

Last Sunday I was asked to give a talk In Sacrament meeting. (Great timing right). They asked me to speak on "choice and accountability." As I thought about my talk, I started think about choices. I felt as though a lot of the choices I have had in my life were never really mine to make. Many of my "choices" have been made and decided on by doctors, nurses, and even my children. So I felt like all of my choices this past year with Porter being born and now Arland and his epilepsy, were all choices that were never mine to make. So the question was "have you ever had choices that had so much to do with your life, but you had no control on what to do with them, they were never your choice to make?" 

The answer I found was simple. We always have a choice. Faith. 

We have the choice to pray for comfort. In my case I found that I have a choice to pray for guidance in understanding what my childrens doctors are telling me. And what I need to do for them. I have the choice to have faith that what Heavenly Father is telling me will be the best way. The answer is faith.